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Last night was Action Movie Night at the Braeburn Condos theater. It was an unusually packed night—13 people in attendance. The theater seats 14, but there were two empty seats, because a new guy in attendance, a much older man Tony brought from work as a guest, sat on the floor leaning against the wall, between the front row and the screen.
I wish I could remember the guy's name, but I can't. Tony never mentioned him in any of this week's RSVP emails. He did say that the guy also reviews movies, although he never noted in what context. But, for this reason and because he had festival access to a digital screener, I believe from South by Southwest, this week was not Ryan's choice as originally announced, but this guy's.
His name will be added to the movie list Tony maintains eventually.
Anyway, multiple people tried to get the old guy to sit in a chair, but he refused. He noted that this was what he's used to, because whenever he goes to movie theaters, he sits in the front row on the far side. I think many of us took this as almost psychotic behavior, and asked why he does this, the guy replied, "Because I am sick of audiences!" I mean, there are other solutions to this. Laney and I consistently go to showtimes between 4:30 and 5:00 if possible, and typically there's only a handful of other people there. Why in the world would anyone sit in the front row in that scenario?
After that, by way of introducing the film, the old man declared: "This is for a very limited audience." He was referring to the content, and I think many of us weren't quite sure what to make of what the hell that was supposed to mean.
The film was called
Fucktoys. It's really tilting toward incredibly high user ratings on Letterboxd right now, but my current working theory is that's just because it's currently only available on the festival circuit—the way it was shown last night was possibly illegal, although at least no one was charged anything to see it—and festival audiences are primed to love the movies they go see. Not me, though. It didn't occur to me to compare it to John Waters films until I saw the comparison many times in other Letterboxd reviews, and the comparison is apt—except Waters was far more skilled at what he was going for.
Shobhit did ask me if I was going to write a review of it, when we learned it's a new movie that hasn't even gotten a wide release yet. "Maybe," I said. I really wasn't sure at first. But then, as the movie went on and I really didn't like it much, that combined with the fact that it currently doesn't even have a release date (it doesn't even have a Wikipedia page yet; only a menton on the page for this year's SXSW festival) left me very much disinclined to write a full review. I usually write reviews for movies I see at SIFF even when their release is up to a year away, but there I can feel confident it's coming sometime. There's just too little information on this film's release, too much potential for it to be a long way out. So, I settled for writing a few short paragraphs on Letterboxd—where I was very much in the minority in giving it two and a half out of five stars.
When we all poured out of the theater at the end, I was first to leave, wanting to get a jump on rinsing dishes and loading the dishwasher in the community kitchen. Some asshole had left a plate with both pasta noodles and a pizza crust on it in the sink, filled with water so the crust was all water logged. What dipshit did that? Anyway, the old guy might have offered more commentary on the film while the credits rolled, but I missed it because I left so immediately. The next few to come out clearly weren't that into the movie either. "I couldn't quite tell what the point was," I said. But: "I liked it better than
Buckaroo Banzai." That got a couple of chuckles and agreements.
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— पांच हजार सात सौ बानवे —
Okay, so: I don't want to forget about the roll call. 13 people! Can I get them all? Let's try: Tony, Jake, Ryan, Ben, Chris G, Chris B, Andrew, Greg, a guy named Kevin who hadn't attended since sometime last year, Daniel, the new older guy who sat on the floor, Shobhit, and me. Hey, that's 13! And I remembered that all off the top of my head! Maybe I don't have a shitty memory after all. (HAHAHA)
There was also a lot of food. Shobhit made pasta, the new standard procedure now being for me to select the type of pasta noodle and which pasta sauce jar I want him to use, then he does most of the prep at home before I get home from work. I think it was fusilli this time. The pasta sauce was "Four Cheese."
Shobhit had very meticulously budgeted for his Weight Watchers points. He chose not to make a cocktail. He budgeted for a serving of the pasta and two slices of pizza. In a stunning development this week, three people brought pizzas, and
all of them were vegetarian. I always feel obligated to have a slice, even if I've already had plenty to eat, when someone brings a veggie pizza, because they clearly do it for Shobhit's and my benefit. Ben tends to go back and forth: one week he'll bring a meat pizza, the next a veggie one. Which is fine. This week, Shobhit and I kind of a hit the Vegetarian Pizza Jackpot.
Chris B brought the first one, and it was super tasty, with pesto and eggplant slices on it. Ben brought the second one, a mushroom based pizza. Chris G, who usually brings a pizza and most of the time chooses a vegetarian one, brought an artichoke hearts pizza with thick cheese on it and really large slices that made the pizza go incredibly quickly in spite of its later arrival. Shobhit and I split a slice of the mushroom one and really should have done the same with the artichoke one, but Shobhit saw the packets of red pepper flakes and was all over that shit. I probably could have had more self control of my own and declined that last pizza, especially given the number of others who had some. But, Greg G tends to be the most demonstrative to note that he brought a vegetarian pizza, and I don't want to be rude! (Shobhit and I could still easily have cut one of those huge slices in half.)
I did bring a cocktail. Since Shobhit gave me two tubs of hot buttered rum batter for Christmas, that's the drink I have been making myself every Action Movie Night since. But, it's been getting a bit warmer lately. So, even though I still have one full tub of the batter left, I wanted a cold cocktail this time. I made a drink with mango nectar, vodka and peach schnapps. It was delicious.
We actually got the movie started a bit earlier than usual, and thankfully the movie was not super long: 106 minutes. Shobhit and I were up in the condo by roughly 9:00, giving us just enough time to watch episode 2 of
The Residence on Netflix.
— पांच हजार सात सौ बानवे —
[posted 12:32pm]
